


made for tv movies

by fated_addiction



Category: K-pop, Korean Actor RPF, Mamamoo, Real Person Fiction, 우리 결혼했어요 | We Got Married
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 14:56:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12773439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fated_addiction/pseuds/fated_addiction
Summary: to be honest, solar hasn't thought about him in awhile.





	made for tv movies

**Author's Note:**

> Sets out to write drabbles, ends up writing 3k? That's pretty much what happened today.
> 
> I miss these two though. And We Got Married and all the gratuitous feelings that came with it. Because I'm that easy and totally not afraid to say so lmao.

-

 

 

 

to be honest, solar hasn't thought about him in awhile.

"hey look," wheein says. draws, actually. right in the middle of the salon, in front of everyone. she holds up a magazine. "it's eric!"

from the corner, in her own chair, moonbyul grins. "oh eric!"

solar feels her face burn. instantaneously. it's a miserable experience: her fingers crawl to cover her face. her skin feels like it's crawling. leftovers, she thinks sourly. spend close to a year with a boy and boom! feelings and old habits and everything else in between.

"unnie." wheein is serious. "when is the last time you did something for yourself?" she throws the magazine at solar. solar scrambles and drops it. mostly to throw it back at the younger girl. "okay, butterfingers."

" _watch_ your mouth," solar cautions. her eyes narrow. the stylist has turned a hairdryer on moonbyul. "might suddenly forget that i'm talking to byulyi-ah about how you want to shove your tongue down her throat. just to see what she says back."

wheein barely bats an eye. "stone-cold," she agrees.

but solar picks up the magazine. glance through the pages at high, glossy photos of men in suits, men in streetwear, actors talking about acting and oh, whatever about lee minho and suzy. she finds his article. not that she's looking or anything. remember, she hasn't thought about him in awhile. it doesn't mean that her eyes don't glaze over. or that the knots in her stomach don't barrel in.

how are you? she asks the photo. in her head. then hates herself for it.

"you could call him," wheein jumps in. drags herself up to standing and then drops haphazardly into the chair next to moonbyul. who looks at wheein, not solar. "call who?" moonbyul asks too, and it's like solar is talking to one person. this becomes one tagline. wheein smirks. "yah who else would she be heart eyeing in a magazine?" and it just sends moonbyul into hysterical laughter.

they're both dumb. solar throws the magazine to the side. sighs loudly. glares at hwasa when she shrugs. as if to say _well duh_. but the magazine slips from the table and falls to the floor. the pages crumple loudly. opens towards the end. and the universe gives her back eric's face.

solar hates that she's that obvious.

it's a problem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

facts, though, they're overrated. maybe in a way, this was always coming.

she comes back from a schedule late. sour because christmas decorations are going up all around her and of course, their label is talking about a mamamoo christmas album! and stylized version of oh holy night or something dramatic. she was only half listening. no one is home; or, well, hwasa is home. moonbyul keeps a schedule. wheein has grocery chores on tuesdays; she should probably remind her that they need water again.

the problem is that this leaves her alone. in her room. the television is off. she doesn't hate the holidays; it makes her the loneliest though. and somehow this is how her brain walks back to eric.

you should call him, she thinks. "i should call him," she says out loud.

fingers play with her phone. she sits on her bed. stares at the screen. then stares at his number. it's still the same number; moonbyul asked krystal, who asked amber, who just _told_ her, and it's weird, she thinks, how large and small this entire industry is. it makes her feel exposed.

but her brain fingers the last memory she has of him. not on the show. definitely not of the show. it was dumb and there were too many people behind them. and in front. and cameras, god, they were there too. after, there was the couple of the year award and a beer, a fleeting goodbye and everyone watching because stories and stuff. she guesses. 

a last memory doesn't matter, she tells herself. then suddenly she is dialing the number. suddenly she's listening to the line ring.

"hello?"

there's an answer. an actual answer. and solar tells herself duh, kim yongsun. of course he's going to answer. normal people answer.

"i know you're there." eric pauses. "yongsun ah. yongggg-sunnnnn-ah."

"i _hear_ you."

"okay," he replies. "but heavy breathing is a little weird. so you know in the future. just... say hi?"

"i don't even know why i'm calling," she chokes. and her lips purse. drops onto her bed, on her back. "it seemed like the thing to do."

"start with hi? again." he laughs at his own joke. solar rolls her eyes. "it's nice hearing your voice," he says softly. there's a pause and solar swears her heart launches itself into her throat. seriously. "and -" he says quickly, "don't take this the wrong way, but it's -"

"strange?" she quips.

eric laughs again. "yeah."

they quiet. this is the hard part. not the time. or the distance. just the him on one side, her on the other. she picks a spot on the ceiling and stares. fingers a few strands of hair.

"should we have coffee?" she asks. abruptly as always. maybe too soon? her face is hot again. she yelps when she accidentally pulls a few strands of hair. "i mean," she hides a little. "is it too late to have coffee?"

"i like coffee."

"but, like, it's almost ten o'clock?"

"so," he answers. solar imagines eric's grin. hears it in his voice. "hot chocolate? that might be a little cheesy though."

"too late now," solar replies.

"then it's a date."

so here's the thing - and it's a thing, like a real _thing_ \- the world is full of glamour. tv screens. makeup chairs and everything else: lights, cameras, action, you know? and in that same way, idol or not, the longer she finds herself gaining an appreciation for small things. breakfast in the morning. running by the river. fighting with wheein about a dumb pair of shoes. and now, a hot chocolate date.

mouth dry. face red, solar feels kim yongsun answer instead. "yeah, sure."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the coffee stand is in front of the park. by the river where she runs. part of solar wonders if she had told him. once, probably. one of those things that guy like eric would remember anyway.

she is early. wraps, then rewraps a scarf around her throat. it's a heavy wool. bright blue against the glow the street lamps and passing traffic. no one notices her. when she breathes, it feels like a sigh of relief. but it feels like she's been waiting forever. fingers her scarf. then changes to the small purse at her hip because it's cold. or whatever.

"hey!'

solar blinks. hears it again. "hey!" and whirls around, stumbling. eric is jogging from the opposite side of her. at least, opposite from where she stands.

if she were waiting for a moment. the big kind. it doesn't come. but her palms are _definitely_ sweaty. her fingers flicker forward. she bites her lip. smiles shyly. jerks a hand up to wave. or awkwardly wave, if she's honest. but it's definitely eric, handsome, grinning eric. first jogging, then stopping to stand right in front of her.

"hey," he says for the third time.

"hi." she laughs. then groans. "oh my god."

"what?"

her hands frame her face. "nothing," she mutters. then sighs. reaches for him and links their arms. her heart feels like it's going to explode. old habits. personal habits. this is so so so strange to do when it's been more than just a couple of weeks. translation: she's blushing and hates it. "hot chocolate?" she asks instead.

"let's walk first," he says. eric leans in. it's stupid but he's taller than she remembers. "it's cold," he says.

"thanks," she mutters. "couldn't tell?"

he smirks. "you know what i mean." he drags her arm closer. whistles. "so," he asks, "how are you? how's life? did wheein burn your apartment down yet? did moonbyul confess? and is hwasa really -"

"stop right there," solar laughs. "you are way too invested."

"i mean, i was hoping for an update. and anyways, i see moonbyul a lot. same circle of people." she makes a face. eric catches her. "at sm," he clarifies. "we know the same people."

"i don't want to know what she's telling you. or if i'm the one that should be worried. because usually, i end up being the one that gets worried."

eric shrugs. "i was threatened to secrecy," he says and that makes solar laugh again, loudly even. eric smiles and squeezes her forearm. he links their hands together and tucks them into one of his pockets. "i really just want to know about you," he tells her. "and what's been going on? we're really bad at this keeping in touch thing."

"it's hard," she protests.

"so is life."

solar wrinkles her nose. "okay dad." eric winks at her. "i hate you," she mutters and turns her head. 

it's like it all comes back. more than just knots in her stomach. her breathing is erratic. her heart starts to ring in her ears. there's a flash in her head - just say _i missed you_ because most people think that it's the easiest thing to say to someone that you spent a lot of time trying to sort your feelings out on. how did it go? just know that solar is still here. actually, she probably never left. at all. best she can say is that she took a vacation from feelings. 

"seriously though." his face eases into something serious. it's warm. maybe a little heavy. "how are you? things okay?" searches her expressions. "you look tired," he murmurs.

solar shrugs. "no more than usual." she tucks her hair behind her ear. "the stupid stuff that makes it onto the internet. that's really what makes me tired. other than that, we're fine." he gives her look. " _i'm_ fine," solar insists. "just working hard, i guess."

solar is prepared to tell him the usual stuff. same song and dance, or so the song goes. part of her really wishes she stayed in and watched a movie alone. in her bed. like a normal person would do.

"i understand," he agrees. then smiles. 

but there's a little more to that. solar reads and writes her loneliness like a secret. it is a secret. a hard one for her to admit to. the kids call it leader syndrome. solar just thinks it's the nature of how all of this is supposed to go.

she is startled out of her head then. eric finds them a place to sit. behind the same coffee stand she had been waiting by. he sits her first. both hands on her arms. he pokes her nose. she glares. ten minutes later, hot chocolate is in her face and she is wrapping her hands around a styrofoam cup to take it.

"i miss you," eric tells her.

solar is startled. eyes wide. mouth dropping open.

"i mean," he shrugs. "i'm honest, you know?"

"you just can't say that to girl," she protests. pushes at his arm. he laughs and her face is bright red. "we stopped talking!"

"we didn't have to," he says.

"but we _did_." she glares. then catches herself glaring. she makes a sound in the back of her throat. turns her head and sighs. "sorry," she mumbles. "this - i didn't mean it like that."

"you did." eric touches her shoulder. "It's okay though."

"you're still really frustrating." she huffs. glares again even. maybe it's embarrassment. "and it's weird that it's so easy for you -"

she stops. stops because her hot chocolate hits the rim of the cup. because eric is looking at her and she feels really, really open. maybe too open. her cheeks her. not from the cold. mostly because she's flustered.

solar looks away. out into the park. the night sky and all of that - it's romantic, she'll admit. the blues, the grays, the highlights of the clouds and the cityscape painted in. the weather said snow later in the week. in the van, half-paying attention to it too. solar thought she probably buy a warmer jacket.

"sorry."

eric sighs. she still doesn't look at him.

" _sorry_ ," solar insists. "that wasn't fair."

they don't warn you, you know. the feelings part. they splice together a series where you, the idol, have a painted version of what romance might be like. even though she sings about it. fluttering hearts. first, heavy kisses. all of that. here, she feels like she's floundering again.

eric's fingers touch her face. "hey." she blinks. turns her head. then he's leaning. "look at me," he says too.

when his lips touch the side of her face, solar feels the world end. there, then. the back of her throat is tight. she's not panicking. could be close to it. instead, her hot chocolate feels ready to slip from her fingers. his mouth hovers. scrapes the soft grove of her cheek, then her jaw.

"not when you do that," she mutters, and okay, so maybe. maybe this is a lot more dangerous than it needs to be. her head is spinning. "i wish..."

"wish?"

"i don't know." she turns her head. and he's there, close. her lips part; his knee presses into her thigh. "you're not being fair," she says. "you know i'm so not good at this. at any of this. including, keeping touch."

"i'm equally as bad." eric touches her chin. tucks his fingers under it. pushes her to look at him. "it's not to say that i don't think of you - stop," he says when she wrinkles her nose. a smile tugs at his mouth. "i mean it," he says. "we spent a lot of time together. and after, it was really hard. texting you. calling you. maybe even catching up - i guess, i just didn't know how to handle that. or even how to start. you know?"

solar is surprised. he's honest - but that's not what surprises her. maybe, it's more like the two of them are equally clumsy.

"you looked pretty the last time i saw you," he says. she blinks and he clarifies. "award ceremony," he tells her. "white dress."

"oh." solar blushes. "the white dress."

they become quiet. he looks away. she touches her jaw. smiles a little to herself. it kind of just happens.

small gestures. solar knows that they're the way to her. nothing big or grand, super scale. she doesn't need public declarations. a small kiss on the jaw, however, sends her into a space that makes her sixteen again, confused and scared and overwhelmed and totally, completely unable to handle the overdrive of her feelings. you know, the heart fluttering. butterflies. the fact that she can be just a girl in this moment. with the boy that she kind of, sort of, okay totally has a problem with admitting that she's liked him all this time.

"so what now?" 

"huh?"

"what now," she repeats. her hand drops to her knee. right next to his hand on his leg. "we've admitted that we're terrible at this. my hot chocolate is pretty good, i think?"

"you haven't had any of it," eric says dryly. her eyes narrow and to spite him, she takes a sip of it. the liquid burns the back of her throat and she winces, making him laugh. "seriously?"

"shut up," she mutters. her fingers graze his hand. "you know what i mean."

eric does. probably before she even says it. confession: she hated him for this part. solar hates being exposed. not being in control. she is who she is on the surface and behind closed doors. but eric, eric managed to see right through her and all of that in the first ten, fifteen minutes that they met. she stares at him. seriously. maybe too seriously. and he stares back, searching her expression for something.

"we try," he answers. it's way too ambiguous for her liking. her heart sinks back into her throat. "we try," he says again, shrugging. "see what happens, kim yongsun. like two people who want to keep trying."

her fingers lace around his hand. press into his palm and squeezes. it just sort of happens that way. their drinks have barely been touched; the only reminder is the burn that solar has stretching against the roof of her mouth. like a battle scar, she thinks.

eric turns, meets her gaze. he bites his lip. it's an abrupt change. he seems sort of shy. "can i call you?" he asks then.

her lips part. hesitating. "sure," she says.

like that, it's over. eric breathes out a sigh. maybe relief. or maybe her shoulders are the ones that slump back with relief. he stands first. she follows. grips her styrofoam cup and lets him walk her back to her manager and the fan. they don't hold hands. but they're close. really close. and solar's fingers play at the strap of her purse, dragging up and down as she remembers his mouth on the side of her face. or how her fingers felt in his hand. small, stupid, silly things.

he does open the door for her. holds her hot chocolate while she climbs in. waits her for her to buckle her seatbelt. greets her manager but watches her. when he hands her cup back, she feels her face go red again.

"this was nice," she says, and means it.

"yeah." eric touches the car door. nods at her manager. "it was," he agrees. he grins too. holds up his phone in a silent reminder. 

she rolls her eyes. nods her agreement. mouths _tacos_ because that seems like a good idea. then watches as eric as he slides the door shut for her. when the van starts, she watches him disappear into park. bites her lip. studies the back of his jacket, trying to decide if it's blue or black or if she just needs to get her eyes checked. her fingers press into her chest. right over her jacket too. you're still here, she tells herself. but this is the hard part, you know. 

a real beginning.


End file.
